My story for the boy I buried
Set in Sydney (2012 to 2021), Come Undone tells my story of grappling with self-acceptance in a world that runs on comparison, yet craves social conformity. Presented through the eyes of a digital native, the grass is always greener because we edit it to be greener.
Sexuality uncertainty, parental divorce, mental health battles, religious freedoms, marriage equality, coming of age, sexual assault, and young love that is forbidden to shine, must be navigated to unlearn who I was taught to be, and embark on the terrifying journey to discover who I authentically am.
Will insecurities be stared down?
Will the voice inside overcome the crowds?
Will the thirst for validity ever be quenched?
Will the world end, because a boy wore pearls?
And will my suffocating uncertainty ever be answered:
When will I be free?
What I understand so far is that this world can be a tough place, but it’s easier knowing you are not alone in it. Reassurance, resilience may lead us forward. So, this book is my world. This is my story. There lies beauty in sharing, for what is life if you are not giving.
— Xavier James
#1 Best Seller on the Amazon Kindle LGBTQ+ Biographies & Memoirs chart
Sold out launch event @ The Winery
Bookstore interactions
Exclusively available instore in Sydney at The Bookshop Darlinghurst
Exclusively available instore in Melbourne at Hares & Hyenas located in the Victorian Pride Centre
About the author
Click an image to find out more
What People Are Saying About Come Undone
‘Beautiful, generous, tender and moving. This is a powerful gift to whoever reads it.’
— Matthew Cooksey (LGBTQ+ Life Coach)
‘This book gives the reader hope and energy to face their own battle.’
— Katia Ariel (Award Winning Author and Editor)
‘Touching, needed and a must read for young adults and their parents.
Coming of age is complex in
Gen Z and this memoir offers a rare glimpse through their eyes.’
— Michaela Romano (Educator)
‘A raw reminder about the universality of life and love.’
— Kevin T. Norman (Author and BookToker)
‘A poignant, insightful book for individuals, and those supporting them, on the journey to discovering their authentic self.’
— Jacob Hkeik (LGBTIQ+ Mentor and Network Leader)
‘Written with a tenderness bespoke to those familiar with the complexities of self discovery, this memoir is a comforting nod to anyone carving out a space for who they are.’
— Kurt Hughes (Writer and Producer)
‘I just wanted to say that I really applaud you for publicly confronting your inner demons and insecurities on such a wide reaching platform. On a daily basis, I’ve witnessed students who are LGBTQ+ struggle with and question being themselves in a setting, which at its very core values and beliefs, rejects who they are.
My ultimate goal as a teacher, is to ensure that every student feels safe to be who they truly are, whether gay, straight or somewhere in between. Stories like yours are the ones that allow younger and emerging generations to feel comfortable in themselves and within society - so thank you for being such a positive voice in a world of negativity.’
— Catholic School Teacher
‘Wow, I know we’ve never met but that was really moving. It echoes a lot of the emotions and challenges I faced. I went to a religious school and question what my role and schooling experience would’ve been like if anyone at the school knew - and even know I have that same anxiety with certain aspects of my work. Just like you went to Africa, I went to Canada to try to escape it, but it was something that had to be confronted sooner or later.
The world isn’t fair and there is still horrible prejudice in our society but it’s so reassuring to know there are other people who have gone through the same challenges I have and have made such great strides. Good on you.’
— 25 year old
‘I’ve sat here for the past 10 minutes trying to write you a message, but I keep rewriting because nothing really describes how amazed I am at the strength and vulnerability you’ve shown. This insight into you has the potential to save so many people.
I’m really proud of you. It takes a lot, and you’re so insanely special for doing this. I genuinely look forward to seeing where the future takes you. Keep it up 💛’
— 23 year old
Make a difference
Push for change! Together, we are strong and we will create change. Australia wide, educational institutions established for religious purposes can legally discriminate against students, staff and contractors on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity. This means religious schools can expel a student or fire a teacher for being gay or transgender.
Check out Equality Australia’s campaign and how you can help change this below:
Helpful LGBTQ+ organisations and resources
83% of those who identify as lesbian, gay or bisexual worldwide keep their sexual orientation hidden from all or most of the people in their lives (Yale, 2019). Visibility, tolerance, understanding and role models are key to turning this tide.
Helpful mental health organisations and resources
‘Australians are more likely to die by suicide than skin cancer, yet we know comparatively little about the processes that lead to suicide and how and when to effectively intervene.’
- Black Dog Institute, 2020
Share your story
Upon reading my story, I would love you to share yours, whatever it may be, so we can continue raising awareness and understand that we truly are never alone. Click the button below to join the conversation.